Lipstick For Sale

The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out out his torn coat pocket

He opened his newspaper and began reading.

After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, 'Say Father, what causes arthritis?'
The priest, wanting to teach this man a little lesson replied, 'My son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes and lack of a bath.'

The drunk muttered in response, 'Well, I'll be damned,' then returned to his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologised. 'I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong How long have you had arthritis?'
The drunk answered, 'I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does.'